Divorce Behaviours to Avoid When You Are Recently Divorced
After going through a divorce, it may feel as if nothing can ever go right again. To ensure the best possible care for your children, do not allow these emotions to dictate how you interact with them.
Unfortunately, some parents act in ways which are harmful to their children. Such actions might include stonewalling, engaging in gossip and asking their children to spy on one or both parents.
1. Saying or Doing the Wrong Things
Divorce can be both emotionally and logistically stressful. Even in amicable cases like Gwyneth Paltrow’s, people can make hasty decisions during this trying time that have lasting repercussions.
One of the biggest mistakes people make after divorce is posting their dirty laundry online for all to see. Venting may tempt you, but doing so only portrays you as bitter and vindictive.
One common error people make in dealing with former spouses is saying or doing inappropriate things to them. It’s important to keep in mind that your former partner chose the decision for whatever reason, so accusing them of bad parenting or labeling their decision as “bad for the kids” will only serve to alienate you further and reduce any chance of saving the marriage altogether. Instead, try understanding their perspective while moving forward with your life as best you can.
2. Doing the Wrong Things to Your Children
Divorce can be an upheaval in life that’s hard to adjust to for both you and your children.
No matter who initiated the divorce process, it’s crucial that both you and your ex-partner treat one another with dignity and sensitivity during this transition period. Equally as crucial is how they treat your children.
After going through a divorce, people can feel angry or sad; unfortunately it can be tempting to take out those feelings on family members and friends; this would not be fair or appropriate treatment of these important people in your life.
Furthermore, it’s crucial that you don’t use your children as an avenue for revenge against your spouse. For instance, if they have been spreading lies about you to their own friends and social acquaintances, using them against each other as an outlet to vent is never recommended and could prove detrimental to their mental wellbeing.
3. Saying or Doing the Wrong Things to Your Spouse
Divorce can be emotionally draining, and oftentimes those experiencing it make impulsive, emotionally-charged decisions that exacerbate the pain associated with divorce and prevent them from moving on in life. These decisions based on emotions can make healing harder for everyone involved and hinder recovery from one partner leaving another.
Be wary of posting anything negative about your former partner on social media; doing so can damage both you and the children involved, not to mention cause them resentment and defense from them. Such posts could even be used against you in court! So be wary when posting badmouthing comments.
Divorcing individuals often make the mistake of promising things that they cannot fulfill, such as vacations or purchasing them a bike. Unfortunately, such promises often end up broken and cause lasting hurt to both parties involved and can result in financial hardship for years to come.
4. Doing the Wrong Things to Yourself
Divorce can be emotionally painful even when it’s the right choice, since it marks a major transformation of one relationship into two, with legal implications when determining who retains certain assets and parental rights.
it can be very hard for a person to let go of dreams they had for their future life with an ex. When those plans include you both, it may be hard to accept that things didn’t work out the way you expected.
Divorce can be difficult, but it doesn’t need to be the worst experience of your life. If you are struggling, speaking to a therapist may help get your emotional health back on track and teach strategies on how to best manage emotions in order to make the most of your new life – this may involve avoiding certain behaviors as part of treatment plan.